It's In The Bag

The Mesdames' recent forays to a Tinseltown charity bash and countless Holiday parties have brought them to this: an immediate handbag intervention. While stylists ensure that stars are appropriately dressed for festive occasions, the Mesdames are here for everyone else. They are here because they care. They can't stand to see you hurt yourselves any more. Dahlings - please STOP carrying day bags in the evening!

If Madame Shock had a penny for every time she has seen a beautifully dressed woman out on the town schlepping a huge, leather, daytime handbag she would have a house with a much better view in St. Tropez. It pains her even more than Uggs with Everything.

Many women seem to assume that if the logo is large and expensive enough, the bag can be taken anywhere. No. Non. Nyet. Nein. Even if your alligator Birkin is so large and expensive it can fit your hair stylist and your accountant...the answer is still no. This is simply one (of the many) time(s) when an expensive label truly won't save you: large brown leather Louis Vuitton satchels will never go with evening dresses.

Madame Shock actually finds this one of the most perplexing issues since Eve risked it all for an apple (Tiramisu, maybe. Creme brulee, certainly. But an apple?! Mon Dieu!). What woman in her right mind does not want to buy more purses? Especially dainty, beaded, sparkly, amusing ones?

Evening purses do not even need to be expensive - costume jewelry and evening purses are surely the arenas in which imagination and style can push you into the Best-Dressed list for under $50. And like costume jewelry, a dainty, delightful clutch or minaudiere can be stashed in your large, practical, leather day bag to whip out like Superman's costume in a phone booth and transform yourself into something extraordinary.

The key here (as with everything) is creativity and presentation. Below is merely a hint at the wealth of possibilities:

• A woman of Madame's acquaintance got lots of Society-Page coverage while carrying a McDonalds Happy Meal box she had enhanced with color-coordinated craft-store crystals.
• If that's a little too calculated for your taste (and Madame Chic agrees), vintage and low-priced-basics stores have sassy clutches by the dozen.
• Antique stores have vintage lunch boxes, purses, cigar boxes, and even authentic Victorian high-heeled shoes (to be carried by the laces, of course).
• Madame Shock still swoons over a very magnetic woman at a nightclub in London recently who carried a child's rubber rain boot shaped like a ladybug (with convenient handle-shaped straps) that so cheekily complimented a sinuous red Versace dress...
• Art stores have all manner of little boxes and bags that can be customized to your liking (Madame found a grand stash of $3 brightly-colored, satin-covered, take-out boxes a few years ago that made divine evening bags).
• Two words: hardware store. Vraiment? Oui. Many hardware stores have absolutely charming, miniature "trash cans" complete with lids and handles - perfect for painting, embellishing, bedazzling, or simply carrying au naturel. (This is one of the very few occasions when the Mesdames endorse the Bedazzler...)
• Every mid-range store - from Ann Taylor to Banana Republic to JCrew to Topshop - has gazillions of festive bags during the holiday season.
• The classic route (favored by Madame Chic, bien sur), is to go to a top-rate store and, if you can afford Neiman Marcus for every accessory, they can encase your evening necessities in an array of amazing, blingy options.
• If you want a true original but can't be bothered to do it yourself, you are already acquainted with the amazing artists on Etsy. If not...how have you survived?
• In a financial pinch, girls with moxie can simply carry a gorgeous little gift bag (cute ones can be had at the Dollar Tree for a Washington). Not only have you spent less than a diet soda, but you've made everyone wonder if they just weren't cool enough to be invited to the swag suite.

There are at least as many evening-purse ideas as there are sleazy men in Wall Street bars. With fancy purses you can do no wrong as long as they're: small, bright, and memorable (you might apply different metrics to the men...).
So all together now: "We resolve in the New Year to carry appropriately festive purses when the occasion demands it." If Madame sees a single oversized hobo bag with a cocktail dress when the ball drops, she will personally turn it into a garrote.
Now please excuse her. She must go dig an aspirin out of her Judith Leiber Buddha minaudiere.